


Both Practical and Romantic

by rae_scribbler



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Asexual Crowley (Good Omens), Crowley is a wedding planner because why not, Dialogue Heavy, Hark the asexual confusion, None of the characters have their original names, Sleepless in Seattle bashing I'm so sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-26
Updated: 2019-11-26
Packaged: 2021-02-26 02:28:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 653
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21576049
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rae_scribbler/pseuds/rae_scribbler
Summary: Ajay's attempt to explain why Sleepless in Seattle is bullshit mostly just demonstrates the complicated nature of his thoughts about romance, and goes largely unappreciated by his friends.
Comments: 4
Kudos: 5





	Both Practical and Romantic

"Wait," said Nettie, eyes wide behind rectangular frames that always seemed to be askew, "you don't like Sleepless in Seattle?"

"Nope," said Ajay, sliding two mugs across the kitchen table. Ana hummed her thanks absentmindedly, eyes glued to her laptop.

Nettie stared up at Ajay. "Why?" she asked, genuinely curious.

Ajay shrugged. "I think it's bullshit. I only watch these things because it's my job to understand what people find romantic."

Ana snorted. Ajay shot her a dirty look, but Ana hadn't looked up and didn't see it.

"What's bullshit about it?" Nettie wanted to know. She found Ajay's rants rather enjoyable, and it didn't take much prompting to get him into analysis mode.

Ajay leaned sideways against the counter to face the table. "Think about it this way," he said.

"Here we go," muttered Ana.

"The point of this particular rom com," Ajay began, ignoring her, "is romance as "magic". It plays with the idea of a couple being fated, and a little bit with love at first sight. Which in and of itself is bullshit right there."

"Hang on," said Ana, finally looking up from her computer, "just because you've never experienced love at first sight doesn't mean it doesn't happen."

"I believe in love at first sight," Nettie said to no one in particular.

"I have so, _Anastasia_ , as you well know," said Ajay testily. "I'm not saying that people don't think they experience it. I just don't call it love at first sight. I think it's other things."

"Yeah?" Ana drawled. "Like what?"

"Infatuation," said Ajay with certainty. "Or like the brother in the movie says, it's two people subconsciously knowing that they're compatible. Or it's strong initial attraction for other reasons, like sex or whatever. The attraction has to be two sided though. Otherwise it ends up being unrequited and creepy."

"Isn't he romantic?" Ana said sarcastically. "This is the person who's going to be planning our wedding."

"I don't know about 'meant to be'," said Nettie, "but I think it's magic when two people feel very attracted to each other at the same time." Ana gave her an adoring smile.

"The movie borders on creepy!" Ajay insisted, nonplussed. "If Tom Hanks didn't inexplicably find Meg Ryan's character attractive, the whole thing would be ssssuper weird."

"He's got a point," said Nettie. Ana rolled her eyes.

Ajay gave Nettie an appreciative look. "Not to mention the movie looks at Annie's relationship with Walter as bad, even though it's stable, honest, functional, and even relatively romantic. Annie is perfectly happy with him until her mother and Sam, as well as society's expectations of what romance should be like (which is cultivated by movies like this, by the way), sow doubt by putting this idea in her head that their relationship isn't passionate enough and therefore she's missing something."

He paused to breathe. The women at the table let this sink in. _Are you sorry you asked yet?_ Ana was silently asking. Nettie shrugged. "He has a point," she said again, taking a sip of her tea.

"Thank you!" said Ajay. "Plus, their potential relationship isn't practical. I mean, they live on opposite sides of the States. And they hardly know each other."

"Just because you're a confused asexual trying to be cynical doesn't mean you can ruin my favourite movies for me," Ana grumped.

"Oi! I'm not being cynical! I'm being realistic!" said Ajay. "And I'll stop being critical of rom coms when there's one that's both romantic AND practical."

"This is why you're single," Ana teased. Ajay glared at her.

"I think I'd rather have a practical wedding planner than a romantic one," Nettie mused. Ana laughed and pressed a kiss to her cheek, eyes sparkling. Nettie flushed as they giggled together.

"I don't need to listen to society's expectations of sex and romance!" Ajay raged. "I'm single because I want to be!" But no one was listening.

**Author's Note:**

> I felt like writing something to project some of my feelings about asexuality and romance, so here we are! I don't feel as strongly about Sleepless in Seattle as Ajay does, but there are some things about it I can't get past anymore, and I thought they might be a good way for Ajay's opinions on romance to come out. Although he's not super coherent about it.
> 
> If you made it to the end, thank you for reading! <3 Please leave feedback if you feel so inclined, I'd love to know what you think!


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